Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Missing Him


DH has been away since Saturday morning. I and the children are missing him. We've been managing everything here alone, but his absence is still felt.

He is actually over on St. Simon's Island right now. Some of you know a little bit about his history as a Correctional Officer and subsequent Whistleblower situation. It's been some drama since March when he chose to make known the illegal activities he was witness to in the prison. He tells me that he has not shared "everything" with me because it's hard enough for him to handle and he doesn't want to burden me with the details and images. I'm grateful not to know everything because what he has shared with me was enough to make me almost physically sick. But by him internalizing it all, and not having someone to use as a sounding board, it's hurting him.

He saw a counselor provided by his employment on Friday and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It was suggested that he go to St. Simon's Island to a health facility there to further counseling services and ultimately get the events he's internalized out. Sort of like a "de-briefing".

I have spoken to him every day since Saturday but cannot tell how he is doing overall. One day he sounds tired and depressed and the next day he sounds more cheerful. He tells me he is doing fine and that he is "learning things". He's had an awful headache each day he's been there though. He needs to be getting some rest. Ironically, while he's there, he's worrying about us here and wondering if we're managing. Doesn't that just beat all? I told him to quit doing that and get some rest! Enjoy himself and the time away. We are fine here, and though we miss him, we can handle things here. And if we need anything, we have neighbors. It's good to have neighbors.

I'm hoping he'll be coming home today. Maybe tomorrow. But most of all, I hope he is able to let out these things he's seen and kept to himself so he can be fully well and enjoy life again.

There has not been much needle or hook and yarn activity here lately. I have been staying busy with our 3 children and managing the home, making sure I also include the jobs DH usually does here (garbage, cat litter, feeding/watering the dog and cat...) I haven't gotten out there and mowed the front yard yet, but who knows, maybe I'll do that today...I don't know if I can manage that though we 3 little lambs running around. I had best keep my attention on them.

2 comments:

Sorka said...

Hugs hugs hugs!!

I know how hard it is to be at home without the hubby with three kids.. (thankfully he hasn't had to go out of town now that we have 4 but I know it will happen!)

See if someone at church will help out with the yard! I am sure they will!!
I sure hope that this will help him and get things closer to normal for him!
Prayers are with you!

Leah said...

I know how hard it is when they are away. But think about how much it makes your relationship sweeter when he does come home? Hope you can find someone to help out with the yard work! God Bless