Thursday, April 6, 2006

DEATH AND DYING



My husband's youngest brother is dying. He got a call Tuesday....no, let me re-write that. The city police came by our home Tuesday morning and told Tommy that someone from the hospital in the next county called them and asked them to find Tommy to relay the message that a family member was in the hospital. Considering the county that called, we figured it was either his brother or sister that was in the hospital. It is his brother Johnny. Johnny was put in the hospital on Sunday with congestive heart failure. He had had a kidney removed back in February which had a tumor on it. And his doctor said that ever since that surgery Johnny has gone downhill. I suppose by Tuesday, Johnny was so close to death that someone called Tommy to let him know. Tommy hasn't found out yet who called the police dept. None of his 3 siblings admit to calling (which if it were one of them, they could've just called him directly) and by the surprised look on their faces when he walked into the room Tuesday, perhaps they weren't even expecting him. I imagine this all sounds odd, so let me just say there was a rift in the family after their mother died 3 years ago. His siblings drew together against Tommy and me and yet never would tell us why or how we could make amends. We've both apologized for whatever offended them, but nothing has been the same. I think a lot of it was stress after their mother passed, but some of it surely had to be personal. But we never found out and still don't know. Perhaps with the time Tommy has spent at the hospital Tuesday and all day Wednesday, even through these wee hours of Thursday, maybe there has been some reconciliation.

Tommy is still awake at the hospital. I know this because I called his cell phone. Yes, at 2 o'clock in the morning. I have just felt this impression to call him for the past hour, so I finally succumbed. He's in the room alone with Johnny at the moment. I told him to please stay as long as he needed. He's the type that worries about me and the children being home. He's only an hour away in Savannah and my goodness, the children and I were alone for 11 days when he had to go into treatment at St. Simons a few months ago. He wants to hang around until the doctors gather in the morning and have their conference to decide what the next step is. I think everyone is basically waiting for Johnny to die. The doctors don't hold out hope for him. His organs are shutting down they told Tommy on Tuesday. Tommy told me yesterday that his brother was really pale. Now he's yellowish. The doctors are keeping him on morphine as he is in pain. Fluid has been building up around his heart.

I know it's got to be hard on Tommy to watch this happening. It's got to be hard on all of them. But I guess they all are afraid to leave in case he passes away while they're gone. Their mother did that, I think. It happens. I'm glad they're all there together, siblings banded together around a dying brother. He is the baby of them all and only 40 years old.

I think I will end now. I just wanted to write this down.

9 comments:

julie said...

Karla I'm so sorry! You'll all be in my prayers.

Faye said...

Karla, I'll say a prayer for your family.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. My step-dad is home but having an issue with one of the med's. He is doing much better.

Karen said...

Your family is in my prayers.

Helen said...

Karla; I'm so sorry. You are all in my prayers. Please let me know if there is anything I can to do help you.

Rosesandtea said...

I'm so sorry. Bless you all.

Lulu said...

Karla, how awfull and so very sad..
I will keep your family in my prayers..
hugs,

Netter said...

Karla, my heart goes out to you and your family at this hard time. May your faith give you strength. You are all in my prayers.

JulieP said...

I will keep your family in my prayers. It's tough waiting, I know, but God is always there.

CrochetManiacs said...

I am so sorry to hear about your brother in-law Johnny. He, you, your hubby and family are in my prayers.